It’s amazing how things turned out in a way you never would have imagined. You look at them and you wonder how. How the people you’ve known the longest can end up being the ones you tolerate the least; how the ones you thought you were so close to can make you feel like a worthless piece of nothing; how the understanding you thought you shared turned out to be nothing more than a mere illusion you entertained yourself with.
Or did it just disappear? You don’t know. You look at them and you feel like you don’t know anything anymore. You’re at that particular point in your life where you question everything, no exceptions. Is your reconsideration of your attachment just part of that? Your dramatic alter-ego taking over, possibly? Or is it something more? You all grew up. You all changed. Some for the better, some for worse. Maybe you just don’t share the same things that once pulled you to each other anymore.
Maybe the only thing holding you together now is the rope of time and company, gradually stretching until it’s in danger of being brutally cut off by everything that repels you from each other. You always put them first. But did they? You feel like they expect so much and give so little, but then flashbacks of things they’ve done for you come coasting through your brain. A wave of guilt washes over you. Maybe this is normal, you tell yourself. It’s not like it’s the first time you’ve ever felt disconnected. But maybe not. You just don’t know. You look at them and you feel like you just don’t know anything anymore.
Inspired by a story from a friend. You know who you are.